The Rare Champ

The Rare Champ

12 May 2014 » The Rare Champ

Have you always dreamt of owning your own piece of land? Or better yet needed a secure long term investment that secured your financial security? Are you tired of just owning stuff like the Tuk Tuk your drive to work or the wine bottles your collect in your root that seem to lose value each year? Good news…. PRC, a company that aims to make your dreams come true has a product that aims to suit your needs. Many smart people like yourself who have big dreams have taken this bold step in...

19 November 2013 » The Rare Champ

Since I was a young i was intrigued by the motion, Of being a man… What were the flavours of the potion? Different experiences and different lessons, But being one is graduating from small to bigger testings….. Many false lessons that never had many meaning…. Like “Being a man is being able to get out of mamas ceiling” The playas claimed that “It was having many bitches” The flosser friend that it was having ‘infinite riches’ To that, I listened for a while… I chased that stuff coz of the fear...

19 November 2013 » The Rare Champ

Since I was a young i was intrigued by the motion, Of being a man… What were the flavours of the potion? Different experiences and different lessons, But being one is graduating from small to bigger testings….. Many false lessons that never had many meaning…. Like “Being a man is being able to get out of mamas ceiling” The playas claimed that “It was having many bitches” The flosser friend that it was having ‘infinite riches’ To that, I listened for a while… I chased that stuff coz of the fear...

17 November 2013 » The Rare Champ

He is running from his problems, maybe someone else will solve them…. Running from reality, the problems induce his insanity… He better get high, being down is hard f**k gravity From outside he looked like he ran the town, The multiple ladies with whom he could get down, The so colled friends who never ever frowned, Not rich but he always had money in the pocket…. He looked cool, but hadn’t figured out life, like how does the cable fit in to the socket? Time flew by, but he was the same as...

17 November 2013 » The Rare Champ

He is running from his problems, maybe someone else will solve them…. Running from reality, the problems induce his insanity… He better get high, being down is hard f**k gravity From outside he looked like he ran the town, The multiple ladies with whom he could get down, The so colled friends who never ever frowned, Not rich but he always had money in the pocket…. He looked cool, but hadn’t figured out life, like how does the cable fit in to the socket? Time flew by, but he was the same as...

15 October 2013 » The Rare Champ

The bigwig tribunal met recently and concluded that the following standards shall be adhered to by all the Kenyans on Twitter. 1. All #TeamMafisi members shall only acknowledge light skinned ladies. 2. All males should move out of their mothers house and own a car by the age of 25. 3. A woman is considered marriage material only if she can cook chapati 4. No bigwig shall take a matatu. 5. You shall flaunt all your expensive gadgets, weaves, accessories just to make others feel like they are...

06 October 2013 » The Rare Champ

Dear Anna, I hate to admit it but I’ve missed you….. From our petty arguments, to how I passionately kissed you… Since we separated, I got bitter and called you over-rated…. Told all my friends that without you, I woulda made it… Truth is, you were the shit… My ego just barred me from sayin it…. When I was broke, you gave me back rubs and said “It would be okay” You used to be the sunshine to my overcast days… You were such a catch, a perfect match and had other homies wishin I was gay….. I...

26 September 2013 » The Rare Champ

A couple of weeks ago, I found myself on the wrong side of the law. I was arrested by a cop for an offence which at the time I thought was ridiculous(logically, it wasn’t my fault) This cop confronted me and what did I do? I reacted, with a feeling of superiority and disrespect towards him. I had taken an approach of ‘I am more intelligent/superior to you’ which proved to be ineffective. You see, I’ve always thought that I should only give those who deserve respect their earned appreciation. I...

18 September 2013 » The Rare Champ

We live in a world where you are held accountable for what you say on the internet especially when it comes to important information. Today as your PR expert I will show you how and when to use the ‘I was hacked excuse’ 1. You went to the strip club, were twerked on and just had to post a tweet of how much fun you were having (yes, you lied to your girl that you were at a business dinner). Remember that famous shaggy song? ‘It wasn’t me’? Yes…. Use the excuse. Go even further to explain that...

10 September 2013 » The Rare Champ

It was a monday morning that I would never forget. I woke up early to my regular routine…. Checking my twitter timeline for the latest news…. Ooh, new interactions…. Gosh… I had finally gotten to 1000 followers. The feeling was exhilarating compounded with a feeling of bliss and sudden superiority. I felt good enough to finally send a Direct Message to my twitter crush, who only flirted with other bigwigs but often replied to my tweets with the occasional ‘Haha’. My mind was racing…. What would...

08 September 2013 » The Rare Champ

The board recently held an emergency meeting and we finally made some important decisions. Recent events have dictated that we change tact. The Mercedes Benz car keys tactic of getting a girls attention is now out of fashion. In line with recent events, our members are now adviced to claim that they are DJ’s who drive Subarus. Studies suggest that this statement has the same effect as Black Ice. You can use the title ‘DJ’ and when confronted you can simply say that your name is Dan John. For...

08 September 2013 » The Rare Champ

The board recently held an emergency meeting and we finally made some important decisions. Recent events have dictated that we change tact. The Mercedes Benz car keys tactic of getting a girls attention is now out of fashion. In line with recent events, our members are now adviced to claim that they are DJ’s who drive Subarus. Studies suggest that this statement has the same effect as Black Ice. You can use the title ‘DJ’ and when confronted you can simply say that your name is Dan John. For...

The Rare Champ

» The Rare Champ

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