Ladybird

Ladybird

15 November 2017 » Ladybird

That's right! I'm a one week old wife! not a cliche wife, a real wife...gold ring, white gown, yellow and white flowers, a pastor, a band... all the necessary ingredients to proclaim to the world that you are taken!But (I know we should not start sentences with 'but' leave alone paragraphs, but then when was this blog ever about grammar prowess?) I was saying... But, I am a very predictable person. Not wife  as that's yet to be confirmed, but person. Have you guys checked out my last post on...

30 November 2015 » Ladybird

To my beloved Ben,After the chat in the morning, thoughts of you have filled my mind, hence my decision to write this long piece of...whatever it is.This is my confession, I never stopped loving you a single day, however the load on me feels lighter by the day.The fact that I'm dating now doesn't mean that all is rosy, many are the times I want to run back into your arms. But I try and look at the positive side, I no longer cry most days, I have happier days than sad days and I have a...

12 July 2015 » Ladybird

As you can see, I was here, a few days ago, crying. Senseless crying, dirty crying where both your eyes and nose shed... Ok, sorry, bigger apologies if you were eating but yeah, that's how it was. I was just about ready to go down and be collected from there, thankfully though, my God has ensured that I have enough strength to remain standing.No, nobody died. When I lost my uncle 2 years ago, I cried just as bitterly, I never managed to attend the burial ceremony, I laid down my flowers 2 days...

10 July 2015 » Ladybird

It's the same old story all over again, shamed once, shamed twice, shamed tenth. But you Jehovah God who is a God with a purpose, please get this cup of shame from me. Whoever it is that I ever wronged, I confess to have had my punishment, it's time to redeem me, please Jehovah God full of Grace and forgiveness, please have mercy  on me

01 July 2015 » Ladybird

I am here by chance, my house which is no longer a home. There is a time this place used to be a place of consolation, to strip naked, expose my maximum, even stretch my legs out for better sight, while hiding my head in the clouds. Nowadays, it's a place I just stumble upon.I've been looking at my latest posts (latest means this year's), and they are badly written and full of rubbish, yes, they are true, my true life experiences, but rubbish in that they reduce me to a bitch without a life...

01 June 2015 » Ladybird

I feel sad, sad very sad indeed. If I had a platform to write that, other than in this house, anonymously and without judgement, I would. I keep wondering why I push things so much, it's ridiculous to think that if I push so much, then eventually I will get. It's stupid to harbour hope for a single item for so long. But then this has held so many Of my dreams,  didn't they say my dreams are valid? You'd think Love is the answer to everything, right? I mean even the Bible declares love to be the...

14 May 2015 » Ladybird

After days of crying, mourning, self pity and all that comes with a breakup with someone you loved...you still love, Ben drops this bombshell, that he is married. Wait! He is not just married, he was married all along, the 2 years of my life that I spent picturing him as my husband, he had a wife all along! That is the day I woke up - grew up - and  I was not about to shed an single extra tear for this man, and whatever belongs to him. It's a vow, I swear even, I will never.Fast forward 2 weeks...

24 April 2015 » Ladybird

I've been single for less than a month! I'm shocked, it feels like forever, but maybe there are other contributors to this feeling? like lack of sex? I'm horny dammit! very horny I'm this close to going to the washrooms and carrying a dick shaped anything there.Before you judge me, it has been really long for me and my body is in a rage. First it's because before Ben and I broke up, we had stayed for like a month without doing the thingy (damn man was getting it from a wife while I was being so...

30 March 2015 » Ladybird

Hi guys, news flash, Ben left. We fell out, and my texts go unanswered, and my calls,  well, the one I made today was answered by a feel gooder, fake twanging bitch,who had the nerve to tell me not to ask her questions! Ben wrote back to say she's a fellow student and he had just stepped out, what surprises me is,  were it a business call, would she have picked? My heart cries out, but one day my wells will run dry.

30 March 2015 » Ladybird

I must have missed a lot of love while growing up, else,  why am I so scared of tenderness? Why am I an addict of unforgiving, unfair, enslaving sort of love? I'm finding it so hard to accept this overflowing kindness from a gentleman, I feel like I do not deserve it. Instead it's like I'm trying to run after my past, and the madharau I'm being shown while at it! I pray God gives me the strength, and instils in my heart the ability to accept real love. Thinking about it, it's no wonder I don't...

26 February 2015 » Ladybird

I just read Wanjiku Wanderi's post on her child birth. http://www.judywanderi.com/2015/02/waiting-to-exhale-my-childbirth.html Her description of the whole event was so real, so much like mine. I thought I would take her direction and tell my story.According to the scans and the doctors meager knowledge on statistics in probability,  my EDD (Expected Delivery Date) was 14th of August. Being the second born in our family and the only girl, my mother and I had never really had what can be called...

04 December 2014 » Ladybird

I've been away, I know, I apologize.There are times when I think about my relationship and all I feel is utter joy, there are others, and few they are, when I think about it and I feel confused, stupid and ignorant, today is one of them, and as usual, those are the days you get to hear me rant.Exactly a year ago, at a time like now, my boyfriend Ben, knew where I lived, knew my son,and practically knew almost all aspects of my life. Now, a year later, and 2 months shy of our second anniversary...

29 October 2014 » Ladybird

Its 3:49 am, and for the last 46 or so minutes, my life has been weird.I woke up and went to the bathroom, not weird or strange at all, people do it all the time. All the same, I noted that I am not one of those people, I simply do not wake up at night for a call of nature, unless I'm having a runny stomach which I cannot remember happening either.Anyway, after I visited the bathroom, I checked my watch (Or rather my cellphone which is usually under my pillow), and it was 3:03 am! I wanted to...

25 October 2014 » Ladybird

I remember making a vow, that this breakup will not make me cry, now matter what. Well, today morning I cried some, after holding on to that vow for so  long, okay, so I cried a wee 2 more times. Fine, I cried. All in all, the crying was not much as would have been anticipated when you've been dumped by a man who you've adored, almost worshiped for 2 years. Something I have experienced so far that was unique for this break up was anger. Damn it, I was angry! Yaani I was so angry, everyone in...

16 October 2014 » Ladybird

Its not like I'm stupid and blind that I cannot see the lies, It is not that I am unfeeling, my heart does not cringe whenever you chuck one mean statement after another, it is not that I am slow, I do not notice you avoid any circumstance that will put me in close proximity to yours, its not like I am retarded I do not notice that you like someone better, you protect someone better, you wish for something that was. I see all that, I feel all that, but I ignore it, day after day, month after...

24 September 2014 » Ladybird

I felt so bad when my boyfriend said that this chik who's after him said I was not pretty enough for him. I'm so angry about this, more to my boyfriend for allowing this cheap average looking bitch to talk ill of me infront of him! I'm more offended thinking of the type and quality of bitch who thinks she has a right to judge me. Bitch is:1. Average looking but delusional enough to think she is cute2. Dating a married man3. The said married man also happens to be short and hasn't got much going...

19 September 2014 » Ladybird

Yesterday I was talking to my man, and I happened to offer my condolences for a close bereavement, and he acted so surprised that I had done that. Apparently, he is not used to me caring!Coincidentally, this came the same day I was thinking about the way people look at me as some strong and unforgiving woman. On Monday on my way to work, I was arrested for overlapping. I had given a certain youngish boy from our work a lift. What happened next surprised even me (much later that is). All of a...

17 September 2014 » Ladybird

I am so emotional today.Mostly, being in this emotional state works against me, because it is my weakest state. That is why I remembered to pray when I woke up, something I rarely remember to do these days. Today I remembered to ask God to be with me, to help me, to be with me through this journey called life, to help me make wise decisions, and to come to my rescue because I am lost.Ladybird is lost, ladybird has been so lost for quite some time, but she keeps forcing things to happen, because...

15 September 2014 » Ladybird

There is a time when my facebook account had taken the form of an advice forum, for both young men and women who are in love or aspiring to be in love, that is until I met my dawa, someone who showed me that clearly it is easier said than done!Anyway, one point that most ladies never seemed to understand is my love for a bad boy! By the way, I only date great men or men who are definitely destined for greatness, nothing short. And believe me, I have an eye for that. So when I talk about a bad...

03 September 2014 » Ladybird

Do you think love regrows? Most of this year, I thought I had outgrown my obsession with a man, I thought I had become more mature in love, because now I was using more of my head and less of my emotions (Or is it desires?) to think. But yesterday, today, I feel weak. I feel completely out of breath whenever I think of this man. I'ts all I can do not to pick up my phone and write "I love you, come to me B". I am back in stage one, I'm in love all over again.I know for sure, I will never outgrow...

01 September 2014 » Ladybird

Do you remember the guy I dated for 5 years? since I was 19 to 24 yrs? We were so ambitious, always knew that we would be rich, very rich. But he maintained one theory, that no matter how rich we will be, our bed will be a tiny 3 inch by 6 inch! Yes, that's the size of bed you lie on when you are in high-school in Kenya. The reasoning behind this weirdness was, if ever I was mad at him, I would have no space to run to at night. So whether or not I want it, I would still be close to him, and...

17 August 2014 » Ladybird

I just have to tell you about this bitch! Otherwise I will not have done this blog any justice by keeping a classic episode to myself.I met this bitch on the webs, facebook to be very specific. I have no idea how she ended there, one of those times I get annoyed by so many pending requests and just confirm them all. She claims to be my former school mate, possibly is, I was an arrogant bitch in school, too much into my own, could not be bothered to know bitches who were not worth it, men too....

06 August 2014 » Ladybird

Yes! There’s a red siren in that bit of my life. For those who wish to know, which is all of you given you are past the posts heading, I have had sex 6 times this year! Wait on, make that 6 separate days and not times, which is not a consolation given we are in the 8th month of the year and if you did basic calculus, you realize that’s 0.75 times a month or 0.03 times a day!I know you wonder, am I interested in sex? Answer is 101%. Not only am I sexually healthy, I love having sex, as long as...

25 July 2014 » Ladybird

I'm so tired of keeping things to myself, when things are going well or when they are going bad. Who cares anyway, what purpose does it serve to keep things on the inside? I want things, and today, I'm letting you in on my wishes and worries:1. I want more money. I want to start a business and it to be successful. I want to be able to live the life that i want, I want to pay my baby's school fees without feeling like someone is threatening my life and without cutting on the necessities, I want...

14 June 2014 » Ladybird

I plan to follow the 2014 Fifa worldcup to the very last match. Ignore the fact that I have missed the first four and I am likely to miss the next 8! To the point: the world cup reminds me of the previous world cup in 2009 and happily, of the world cup soccer anthem Shakira's Waka Waka. I say happily because that song brought happiness to my life, 2009 is the year my son was born, and believe it or not, he watched the entire world cup! He would not miss a match, I kept going to the hospital...

06 June 2014 » Ladybird

I'm trying to figure out how to start this, greetings are good, enquiring about you is good, but 'hello ladies and gentlemen' does sound old and stale, right? right. So well, you must be well to be here so lets get the hell on.Anyway, now that greetings are over and done with, I sincerely feel guilty for being away despite the fact that I'm always alone in here (sarcastic giggle). So anyway, I've been trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me, why of all places I can miss the disqus...

28 April 2014 » Ladybird

Brethren, what does it imply when a woman is reduced? Well, to me it means a number of things which I am sure are not too far from the real meaning if at all. To me, a woman who has been reduced refers to one who has been stripped of all her femininity or simply, all that identifies her as a lass to whom the jungle rule of attraction applies. This to me is a woman whose has lost her confidence, her dignity, her grace, her radiance even if it’s only on the inside. If you are not a woman, you...

09 January 2014 » Ladybird

Two days ago was my birthday. Frankly speaking, so much has been going on in my life and I barely had any chance to celebrate. Turning  29 for me was a bittersweet experience. I am genuinely grateful for turning that much, I mean, in the words of any wise man, how many have not lived long enough to see that age? besides that, I am blessed and have hopes to continue being blessed in big ways. On the other end though, what cant I give to have that 9 transform miraculously to 4? the number 24 didn...

05 January 2014 » Ladybird

After being with someone for a long time, you realize that this person has something that you really love, or knows you so well to know what it is that makes you happiest or makes you saddest, or they give you something in a way that you’ve never been given before and is unlikely that you will ever be. But while this person has the capability to make you glow, they are also the reason for your saddest and lowest moments. They know where you hurt most and they hit you hard at that spot without...

31 December 2013 » Ladybird

Hello dears, I have been thinking on how to go about a goodbye 2013 and welcome 2014 and I thought of no better way than to reminisce on the greatness of 2013 and leave 2014 to have it's way. I cannot account for everything that came to pass in 2013 but my biggest blessings are as follows:In January, I celebrated 28 years of being alive and well and capableIn Feb, I met a man of my dreams. He who has changed my life in more ways than oneIn march, 3rd march to be precise, I created a day to be...

17 December 2013 » Ladybird

'We need to talk, we really need to talk'.I have always wondered why men make a big deal of a small sentence like 'we need to talk'. Today I received the above words in a text, I have actually left out another we need to talk because...I can't write the three of them without bursting. I am anxious to a point of nausea, and worse is the fact that I do not even know when this talk will ever happen; given the few chances I have of meeting the said dude.I think my main problem is not the sentence,...

22 November 2013 » Ladybird

The lies that doctors tell... And the suffering we undergo just because we believe them and can't be bothered to wake up from our blissful ignorance. Does that sound angry and bitter? Coz I am! That is after being reliably informed that the doc's advice to abandon my oh so comfortable tampons 4 years ago because apparently it would mess up my newly inserted coil and shorten it's life span inside me was a complete sham! Yes guys, I have been following the idiot's lie to the book for four...

15 November 2013 » Ladybird

I realize how weak I am as a human being who is a woman. I am alarmed at the twist my fantasies with this guy has taken. I am worried at how deeply personal my want for this guy has become. It is so personal, I want him to be my other half literally, i.e half me half him. (I know, scary!). I'm not one to exagerate, but a self check is not working no more. Professional therapy before I become completely stupid.

07 November 2013 » Ladybird

Sometime ago, I promised to do a feature on why I like Ben. Ladies, have you ever been in a relationship where the guy has eyes for every other lady except you? Let’s make it easier; ever been in a relationship where the guy has eyes for you among other ladies? Easier still; where he has eyes for you and another lady (specific one this one), probably one he was (is) dating but has no guts to tell it’s over? Much more easier; where he has eyes only for you but you catch the bastard cheating and...

29 October 2013 » Ladybird

(GUEST WRITER, REAL LETTER FROM BEN)My dear ladybird,I know this short letter will find you in good health. The Ben you keep talking about on this blog of yours fits my description and so I hope you find it within appropriateness for me to speak out from my perspective.It's been nearly a year since I made an acquaintance of you. During our long and intimate acquaintance and intercourse, I have no recollection of ever having heard intended foul words about me fall from your lips, nor your...

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